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Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007
Scorps were just amazing on Friday night. Perhaps most amazing: that I'd never seen them prior.
NI shipped Guitar Rig 3 - on time! And while they still haven't taken any of my recommendations concerning the floorboard etc, what they have added sounds very good. The new "Ultrasonic" high gain amp and tape delay are instant fun. Things seem stable in an unprecedented way. I should probaly jot down some version numbers immediately...
I'll be meeting with my new guitar teacher (hereafter "Shawn") this evening. He assigned a very simple writing exercise which I think has raised some of the right questions. I'm not expecting "right answers" exactly, but I am looking forward to the conversations these questions might inspire.
Friday, September 28th, 2007
As of last night, the latest and greatest Abe Live does appear to play nicely with the latest and greatest BFD. Not sure whether to thank Abe or FXPansion since - after waiting forever for the patches to download - I didn't have time to be scientific by installing one, then testing before installing the other. Note to FXPansion: please find a way to release a patch that doesn't require re-installing the entire rest of your product from DVD. DVD's, as you know, are large. And often elsewhere. And I shouldn't be "installing" 20G of data that's already on my HDD.
In other news, Scorpions in my hometown tonight. But I doubt they'll they'll play anything off In Trance.
Thursday, September 27th, 2007
Hard to believe the date. The end of the summer - which I generally take to be the end of August whether that's official or not - caught me a little off-guard, but Septempber... September has absolutely swept by.
Last night I made a good start in actually taking my own advice (see below) for a change. Still a little quick with the Delete key, but I did record what I played. Simple and brief, but it was music; it's a start. Interestingly, now that I'm engaging in some practical work, I see that several technologies I'd assumed were functional are not. BFD and Ableton do not appear to like one another at all. Or maybe there's some other gremlin to blame. I could have gotten bogged down in that all night, very easily, but instead decided drums were optional. Maybe decisions like this one should become the norm. Or maybe I just need a drumkit and a pile of mics. (Moore's Law be damned, I'm growing old and dying waiting for the high-tech solutions to actually work.
Before recording, I'd begun some recommended listening per my latest guitar teacher. I'm concerned that my curse - excessive critical analysis - extends past my own work, also affecting my experience of others'. Progressive - and particularly avant-garde - composition raises skepticism. Especially in solo performances, I question whether I am hearing the Artful, or merely the arbitrary. Of course, I've got a lot more listening to do.
Wednesday, September 26th, 2007
Just getting over a nasty uber-cold, or whatever, which had me in bed for six days straight. The first day off from work was OK by me to be honest, but by day 5 - well into my weekend as it happened - I was starting to resent the waste of time. 2007 is on the wane and I'm painfully aware of how little I've accomplished. Alright, so that's a running theme and maybe it says more about my psyche than of any accomplishment, its absence, the passage of time... All the same, in recent months I've all but dropped the pursuit of music (reducing this, finally and completely, to a website for persons with a weird curiosity about MB, for instance MB himself) and regained nearly all of the weight I lost at the beginning of the year.
Not that it's been a complete waste or anything. I've had the privelege of meeting with good friends and other people essential in my life, and benefitting from their wisdom. I've studied a bit of jazz theory with an excellent pianist, and have recently found a promising new guitar teacher. And of course, I've played some really cool video games. But maybe that last bit is disproportionately prominent; this has all been "civilian time" in the extreme.
But now, with the novelty of being able to get out of bed, I'm feeling motivated to rise out of this period of inactivity. I've started practicing formally again, which might help me rise to whatever creative spark these various lessons evoke... if any. And it's time to start working out again. Hmm, this all looks familiar...
A couple of ideas come to mind. I know I won't follow these strictly, but if I target them, and achieve even 10%, there will be results:
1. Record everything, even practice. (Also track MIDI while you're at it.)
2. Practice to a click track at all times.
Wednesday, August 29th, 2007
Believe it or not, it's been about 15 years since I've had a proper hi-fi stereo system. The whole minimalism/ zero-redundancy schtick has had me listening to mp3's and the occasional compact disc through various computer speakers and studio monitors, and - as both fatigue quickly and inspire rarely - not listening very often. Yesterday, I ended the streak by buying a pair of HUGE loudspeakers from a coworker. "$100 and please get them out of my garage", an offer I couldn't refuse. So last night, instead of staring at a TV whilst pedaling away, I blasted Foo Fighters and Racer X and Black Sabbath at my sweating self. Apologies to wife, cats, and chinchillas. But minimalism be damned, big speakers are fun! I want to go home and jump up and down and throw bones at these things. :)
It occurs to me that this struggle, between love for simplicity and love of big sounds, has been broadly thematic in my life. Many hours and years poured into finding the right balance in my guitar rigs, etc.
Later in the evening: played a very silly video game for a while. (I've become increasingly, unapologetically, almost fanatically nerdy about these in recent months.) Then, restrung the impossibly neglected Virtuoso - a wonderful guitar - and played that in for a little while. I feel good things happening between myself and the guitar - eg. to my amazement, my command of the instrument is better than ever - but I'm still a little lost as to what to do with it. No particular music or song, that I am aware of, asks of me to give it voice.
Tuesday, August 28th, 2007
"A member of the city council said the center of town was chaotic with pilgrims running in all directions to escape the gunfire. No one, he said, was sure who was doing the shooting. He said a rocket-propelled grenade exploded near the shrine." -Steven R. Hurst, Associated Press Writer
What can you possibly add to this?
I think I've been away long enough to ensure no one is reading, and somehow typing here is beginning to seem appropriate again. Much has transpired since... May 7th as it happens, and much of it in recent weeks. But rather than try to recap all of that, with inevitable comprimises, I think I'll just say "hello" and take this as it comes.
Monday, May 7th, 2007
Away for a good duration this time. Away from the guitar and any optional typing - letting my wrists heal, and some other things too. I've had some help in affecting a shift in perspective. I haven't arrived anywhere that feels "permanent", but the shift itself has been a comfort. I'm questioning my purpose(s); even whether I have a purpose; even whether I should have a purpose.
Meanwhile, from a distance I observe movement in the Guitar Craft community. I had this same sort of experience a year ago, and again a year before that... except now both the distance and movement are more pronounced. It is slightly uncomfortable. As with many things in this life, I seem to have been slightly out of phase with Guitar Craft, suffering a series of near-misses.
I finally put together a reasonably up-to-date PC this weekend. I'd stuck with some old technology for a couple of years, dreading the inevitable time lost to a new build. Then, the question that should have given more pause: "How bad can it be?" The answer: even worse than I expected, and not over yet.
Thursday, April 19th, 2007
Tzu, as my new personal trainer, has me on an excellent schedule this week. A few months or a year of this could really amount to something: a sitting in the morning, an actual breakfast, cycling and lifting after work, and a substantial chunk of "music time" in the evening.
"Music time" is not necessarily practicing or playing guitar as one might expect. This week it's primarily comprised of refining Ableton Live sets. What I'm zeroing in on is a system which will reliably track anything I play in the course of a session in dry, reusable formats, while simultaneously allowing me to build out and monitor loops for accompaniment in real-time. In testing all of this, I'm playing more drums than guitar. It's easier to navigate between an instrument and a PC when said instrument isn't strapped across my chest. Besides which, nothing will work your sense of time better than playing drums into a loop. So, while my immediate aim may be to improve the looper, I inevitably improve the loopee.
Once again the light of a toolset that works transparently glimmers at the end of my tunnel of inaction. I'm pretty sure "it's different this time" LOL. Only time will tell, and in fact anything other than good news (piles of recordings) will be indeterminate. It may well be that I've found a method that suits me, just in time to hang it up. No matter, this is a judgement I'll have to suspend for a few weeks, or maybe months - New Year's resolutions be damned.
There's an analogy in this: when I climb onto the bathroom scale in the morning Tzu reminds me that a watched pot never boils, and I wonder what this implies about the growing blogging community in general; myself in particular.
For the past couple of weeks, an observation keeps jumping into my head, in very plain language: I waste a great deal of energy in my efforts to be "efficient". (I probably waste considerably more than this, but "energy" is the part that presents the clearest irony.) Like most things, this applies universally, but the noticing usually happens when I'm walking between work and my parking garage, my entire body a tangle of stress as I try to save a second at this intersection or that. Bringing this realization into my conscious thinking throughout the day has proven extremely helpful.
Monday, April 16th, 2007
Out Friday night to catch a bit of Jeff Simon's jazz act, Crown Vic , and to have dinner with Tzu-Tzu. Good energy early on; but a food-coma burnout overtook us on arriving home at a shockingly early 9:00PM. (Minus the food, this journal reveals the rest as a trend, having lasted weeks now.) Nice to see Jeff again, though - great guy and, per Tzu, "very wise".
Saturday: tons of housework including a proper gutting/ retuning of the basement studio. This cleared the air for some quasi-creative work there - the "quasi" implying that I was more engineer than musician, the "creative" implying hey, I was wearing a guitar and having fun all the same.
Saturday evening I acted on some ideas that had been idling away for too long, and got the new footpedal "wired" up in Live such that switches 1 through 4 would route audio to delay lines comprising 3 beats, 4 beats, 5 beats, and 7 beats, respectively, and the volume pedal would control feedback and muting, allowing for relatively intuitive live looping in various/compound time-signatures. This small success came just hours after one of my increasingly frequent, desparate, "I've got nothing" moments with the guitar... and cured it.
Sunday I continued by "re-wiring" the switches to play pedal notes, in traditional organ fashion, then applying MIDI effects to play the relative 3rds and 5ths of these, and to correct for key, and optionally to arpeggiate, such that I could accompany guitar leads with my feet. Combinations of one or more of these algorithms can be applied to pads or basses concurrently; ie. the basement just became a little less lonely. (This is going to be even better applied to my next project, a gutted FCB1010 fitted with the same joystick-to-MIDI circuitry I used in that FB4. Silent switches, and more of them. e.g. the studio counterpart to the live solution achieved with the FB4.)
I finished out the night by dialing in BFD and some compression a little further, and playing a lot of drums. I think I'm at the point where a drum track recorded this way wouldn't be distinguished from the real deal by a casual listener. Well, not in a full mix anyway.
Amazing what you can get done with a vacuum cleaner and a bottle of Glass Plus.
Tzu has taken over managing my diet and exercise regimen, as my own results have been... less than stellar. Frankly, I doubt she'll be even as strict as I was, but together we might just get the job done.
Tuesday, April 10th, 2007
A good night last night, a little bit of everything. This particular sort of goodness caught me unawares, as I had very nearly succumbed to another evening of bedridden, TV-addled, spring fever.
Picked up the guitar for a few minutes of practice. Dreadful, desparate, pointless minutes... and then I plugged the guitar into an amplifier. I really should find at least sufficient faith to make this tiny leap more often. Immediately, I was enjoying myself, and within a few minutes I'd stumbled on a riff worth tabbing down.
But the main reason I was in the basement in the first place was to ride. For the first time this year I broke into a good and proper sweat. It wasn't any warmer than usual, so maybe this is indicative of a seasonal change in my body. Maybe the pounds will start coming off again. Certainly can't count on this being easy, though... Anyway, while I was riding, a TV commercial for yet another absurdly product-differentiated razor inspired a lyric, and it actually seems to be amounting to a little something already. (Heisenberg, have mercy.)
Showered, went down to Cafe 9. I have to force myself to do this. Home with my wife is probably the best place in the universe for me to be, but I've become hazardously predictable in the ways I spend my time. Opting for 2nd best now and again is hereby officially mandatory.
I sat and watched a couple of guys play through their folk/ rock sets. You could probably find thousands on any given weeknight, strumming 2 or 3 chord songs on faux-Dreadnoughts. They always sound more competent than I ever did, and I admire them for it - timing is simple but dead on, vocal pitches are reliably in the ballpark. But last night it really hit home just how few chances they were taking, remembering my clueless self with MIDI guitar and a suitcase full of electrical appliances I'd stapled together, and my lofty ideas about originality, virtuosity et al. I thought about the common wisdom that one should learn the rules before breaking them, and that these performers (especially the younger ones, who may eventually take on different approaches of their own) were fortunate and perhaps smart to begin safely inside so many conventional constructs. And then (in a wonderful moment that will probably make no sense to me in 2-3 days) I realized that taking that path, regardless of its efficacy, held no appeal for me whatsoever.
In other words, "learn the rules, then break some" was the most important rule for me to break. (Besides which, as a young person I always preferred my own aphorism, "grow some balls, then break some.")
I once heard that babies who walk before they crawl grow up to be habitual criminals. I don't whether that's any more than urban myth, but it's enough to make me wonder - how many of those same babies get tired of walking (and/or habitual crime) altogether, and take to sitting on the couch playing XBox games instead?
Another wonderful Cafe 9 moment that will probably make no sense to me in 2-3 days was this: I looked at an electric guitarist's pedal board, and for the first time since I was teenager, didn't think I had better ideas than his concerning gear. There is this beautiful wealth in not being sure whether I'm a guitarist anymore: I'm a beginner again.
* * *
In a dream this morning, the story arc was complicated by a couple of sub-plots that recur in my dreams. I realized these details were dreams, and tried to shake them off. Only after I arose did I realize that I had made an effort to "wake up" into the primary dream, not aware that this too was a dream. Moreover, as daylight began to wake me, I had struggled to continue dreaming, despite my dreams being entirely unpleasant.
Monday, April 9th, 2007
Adrift. In a rut. Pretty much everything is/ feels stale and behind schedule, and there is no clear perception that this situation can or should be improved. I expect that the effort will still be made, but probably not with anything resembling vision.
The spam-bots have finally noticed the comment functionality on pages other than the guest page. (If these have been any indication, no one has much interest in Means music... which is perfectly fair considering the level of interest I have taken in Means music.) Now I can check the comments on 3 Rings and, for instance, learn how to purchase a Russian mail order bride. Will this have been the net result of my noble experiment?
Wednesday, April 4th, 2007
Wow.
My very first reaction to this story was, "why???" I mean, aren't there rare diseases this guy could be curing, or something? Then, I found myself inspired by his unwavering commitment of time toward this endeavor. I get discouraged in the course of months - weeks, sometimes. To have this sort of a sense of scope... even overlooking his other more unique resources (eg. being a genius)... it's amazing.
I'm also reminded of a quote that came up in an older journal of mine, from the film Life Is Beautiful: "There is nothing more necessary than the unnecessary." My first response to this had been: "Fluffy B.S. dualism." My second response: "Is this where Art lives?"
Despite my ability to construct clever sentences about it, I still don't really know.
P.S./ Weird aside: Immediately after typing the above I checked my e-mail. The first message contained the following text: You may receive an apparently harmless e-mail with a Power Point presentation "Life is Beautiful"... If you receive it DO NOT OPEN THE FILE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES... If you open this file, a message will appear on your screen saying: "It is too late now, your life is no longer beautiful."
Monday, April 2nd, 2007
I'm hesitant to quote RF these days, since for many years I did so far too reflexively. But he's dropped a couple of bombshells in his journal these past couple days. The timeliness of the following passages is positively unnerving:
"We only have a certain amount of time available in which to achieve an aim. A completed aim is a process and, as with any process, comprises several stages. Each stage is allotted a period of time, within which that stage must necessarily be reached. If we fail to reach the required stage within the allotted period, the process goes off-course; it will not complete. If the aim is our life aim, the result is a tragedy."
"An aim without wish is stillborn."
Monday, March 26th, 2007
“We have to have an attorney general who is candid, truthful and if we find that he has not been candid and truthful, that’s a very compelling reason for him not to stay on,” Specter said on NBC’s “Meet the Press.”
I can't be the first person to consider the pun: "beating around the Bush"?
Wednesday, March 21st, 2007
Late March. The end of the beginning of optimistic 2007. I remain optimistic. But even allowing that the date is an arbitrary measure, the passage of the third month will mark a shift in perspective for me. Potentially hazardous, depending...
Despite fleeting epiphanies in recording, practicing, etc., the "songwriting" initiative has me feeling vulnerable. Unnerving to be committed to this effort, without being certain it's a noble one. It seems - glaringly - to break with the wisdom of valuing "process over product". I catch myself demanding that my recordings incorporate specific features, or fulfill specific functions - usually to ill-effect - and I wonder again, why I am trying to write songs? If one must force oneself to create art, then isn't it self-evident that one is not an artist? And then, what's it all about?
Three months, half a song, and various bits of audio detritus. That's roughly 2.5 songs shy of my commitment, and probably dozens of songs shy of a proper "songwriter's" output. I'm not beating myself up; in fact, I'm not 100% certain I give a damn. I just plain don't know what I'm doing.
Here's one problem: the life I lead today isn't sufficiently interesting to write about. And I'm grateful for that.
Elsewhere, "Bush said he worried that allowing testimony under oath would set a precedent on the separation of powers that would harm the presidency as an institution." Did this guy lose his Civics textbook, or is he just counting on the probability that I have? Appalling.
Friday, March 16th, 2007
Over a week since I've felt any compulsion to write here. And what I am now compelled to write is this: *&^$#@ I hate Firefox.
Wednesday, March 7th, 2007
Bedridden yesterday, after a night up fighting with some sort of stomach virus. The good news: In one night I lost enough weight to put me back on track for February and through the end of March. The bad news: Ow.
Very nasty spam is starting to pile up on the guest page. Grr. Must figure some way to filter this stuff.
Monday, March 5th, 2007
Took a light beating on Saturday for a crime that never actually happened. I suppose the rest of the weekend was pleasant enough, but I felt pretty disconnected after that. Lots of social interaction, and not enough rest. Just enough to time on Sunday night to finalize some gear stuff, with parts that had arrived Saturday.
My new favorite website: AllElectronics. My new favorite phrase: "Original application unknown."
Friday, March 2nd, 2007
Actual conversation from earlier this week:
"I like your new haircut, Marc."
"Thanks, I thought it was too short at first, but it's growing on me."
Man, I'd love to see The Police reunion tour, but ticket prices are grounds for arrest.
Thursday, March 1st, 2007
I finally committed something new to the audio page today. As ever, nothing I would call "finished" - but another month has gone by and it seemed like high time I present. I should make it a policy to "post 'em if I've got 'em", good, bad, or indifferent, at least once a month. To keep me moving, keep me honest, etc.
I saw my weight drop to/ below this month's target twice in the past week, but as of today I'm a couple of pounds over. Silly maybe, but news like this first thing in the AM bums me out a bit.
Left wrist is still a serious mess since I strained it last Friday. I'll have to give it some rest for a few days.
Tuesday, February 27th, 2007
The biggest item of consequence last night: after hours of tinkering with freeware downloads, and coming this close to concluding that my efforts had been in vain, I found this cool VST that translates joystick/ game data to MIDI, and (brace yourself) actually has a somewhat sensible UI!
I had begun to suspect that my last remaining problem with the USB floorboard - an inability to use DIY footswitches to "exclusively" arm channels in Ableton Live - was related to the timing between Note On messages and corresponding Note Off messages. Well, what do you know - this VST actually has attack and release controls to address this very problem! And... they actually work! Outstanding!!!
In light of the above, I've ordered some new switches and capacitors to complete the hardware assembly. Maybe tonight I'll actually shut up and play my guitar...
Monday, February 26th, 2007
Not my favorite weekend ever. Friday night, Tzu and I went out for dinner in hopes of relaxing from a difficult work day. For various reasons, dinner had a markedly opposite effect.
Somewhere along the way I injured my annoyingly delicate left wrist, the upshot being that I couldn't do anything of consequence with guitars etc. this weekend. I am beginning to expect certain deadlines for the month of February to be missed. This is not the end of the world, however; things appear to be in motion such that I can make up for lost time within the next couple of weeks. (Dangerous thinking, arguably. But is it as dangerous as my more typical despair?)
Continuing with nerdy endeavors: no luck finding room for AA batteries in my Nitefly/ Variax conversion (which presently runs for about 20 minutes on a single 9V, sigh) but then, a happy accident: I realize I can use the same parts to power the MIDI conversion on my MIDIFly's, making the mobile studio more truly portable. 6xAA's actually power a phantom power transformer, which is probably not the most energy-efficient solution, but it is the easiest solution - eg. the one least likely to end in my having ruined a valuable guitar. The only downside to putting a rather DIY-looking bundle of batteries in the mobile studio, as the next round of photos will illustrate: it's looking less and less like the sort of luggage you'd want to present to airport security. Yikes!
Watched Big Fish again this weekend. Very much liked it the first time, loved it the second time.
Thursday, February 22nd, 2007
Something is up over at Line 6. Either they're changing their direction altogether, or recent NAMM announcements have them on the run, or something... but they're jettisoning products at stupid cheap prices.
That's the set-up for the strange night we had last night. I'd read online that someone bought a Variax 300 at GC for $149, but didn't actually believe it. I mean, this is literally beer money, depending on the number of guests drinking your beer. I mentioned to Tzu that I was going to call GC (though I always regret doing so), but by the time I got home I wasn't feeling well (over-caffeinated, probably.) So while I was laying in bed, she made some calls, and managed to find one at this stupid price - a no-brainer if only for the parts.
So. We drive down to GC, and by now I've got a little fever going. When we find our salesman, a bizarre situation unfolds. He assumes the guitar is for the person who made the call, but she refuses to even touch the instrument! In situations like this, Tzu and I generally handle ourselves differently: I will blurt things out in the interest of clarity whether anyone cares or not, whereas Tzu tends to be more reserved and private. In this case neither of us took the lead, Tzu being out of her element, my being close to vomiting, etc. So, unchecked, this snowballed into this poorly executed charade where I was helping Tzu buy a guitar for herself, maybe? Except I tested it, she had no opinion, I expressed way too much of an interest in and familiarity with the guitar (and guitars in general) and then finally paid for it. When he offered the warranty, I even said something to the effect that I was probably going mod it. Not a very good charade at all.
In short, this guy must have sensed that we were trying to pull his leg (though actually we weren't trying) and doing an insultingly bad job of it. All this over a $149 guitar! As we walked out Tzu said, "I wasn't sure how far we should take that..." And I said, "Not that far." And we spent the rest of the night trying to shake the slimy feeling off of us.
It's a pretty weird experience being duplicitous accidentally, and accordingly, without any real motivation or control over the process. I can't recommend it.
Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
Less of this journal lately. There has been a significant, but tenuous shift in my relationship with music, and I'm hesitant to write too much about it lest Heisenberg get the better of me. Briefly: I'm enjoying the guitar, and singing, in a whole new way.
In my recording efforts, I've been flirting with this concept of rote quantity over quality, and seeing results. (It would be ironic to call these "good results", I suppose.) But in my practice, I find myself focusing on less material, with greater depth. Executing a brief sequence, or even a single note... but just so. A change in dimensions, with a corresponding change in resonance. (As always, the tangible world provides parallels for an intangible one.)
In retrospect, I am beginning to see the immense value in something I had quite feared - a period of time with no collective creative endeavor underway. I had seen the need for something to this effect, and acted on it by leaving the YGP. My expectation was that this would provide a sufficient degree of freedom for me to maneuver with/ within the Means. In fact, I'm only beginning to sense freedom in the wake of both projects.
Monday, February 12th, 2007
I took Friday off to run a few errands, and then spent most of the day in the basement, recording.
The distinction between "writing" and "recording" proves to be signficant for me. There is a pretense of intention in the word "writing" (or worse, "composing") to which I cannot quite rise - and to which, for so many years now, I've been unwilling to pretend. I think much of my writer's block can be attributed to this. Setting myself instead to recording addresses this and still another problem: on the rare occasion that I do write something, I never get back around to recording it in any authoritative sense. All of the technology at my disposal invites me to erase the line between these two processes, and so I shall. I had some fun recording on Friday.
On Saturday we took a day trip to Massachusetts. My mom had been wanting to go to this Polynesian restaurant that features live entertainment. Before dinner, we stopped at a huge candle shop comprised of room after room, each filled with knick-knacks. Sort of my own personal version of Hell, except it smelled nicer. And yet I found myself enjoying the experience despite my expectations. There was one exceptional moment when Tzu and I stepped into an alcove of Chrismas decorations, etc. It was filled with little music boxes, and probably three or four were playing simultaneously: different melodies, each spectacularly out of tune. Tzu turned and began to say "Sort of spooky...", but I was already wide-eyed and smiling ear to ear. We had stumbled into a place of dark, accidental magic. I wish I'd had some kind of recording device with me.
Dinner was also a strange experience. The restaurant - like so much of Massachusetts - felt like it was in some kind of a timewarp. It could have been the 80's... the 70's... the 60's... just as easily as 2007. The room was run-down and tacky in the extreme - very likely the sort of place I would poke fun at and avoid with extreme prejudice were I a local. And yet there was a lot of depth in the experience of being in such an unlikely environment. Things I could read in the eyes of the staff, the performers, and especially the audience.
I noticed this on Robert Fripp's online diary today, and thought it would be of value to quote it here - if only for my own reference.
The
recommendation has been made to both performance ensembles that their preparation & practising does not include
the pieces to be recorded. This is a common error: by the time recording levels are set & players ready to record, the
pieces are no longer fresh. So, prepare & practice suitable material, but not the material to be recorded. Then, when
ready, three takes are available:
the first for energy & feel;
the second for accuracy, and energy & feel;
the third, a throwaway, in the pocket, for repairs & whatever might spontaneously occur.
Tuesday, February 6th, 2007
I don't know if should blame the weather or the solder fumes, but it's seemed impossible to do anything but sleep these past two nights. And so I have.
AlexL (misread: "Axel") signed the guestbook this past weekend, with a link to a website by and about "lodges" of crazies whose aim is to spend one day a week writing 20 songs each, then meeting in the evening to listen to one another's work. The plain moral of the story, which I hesitate to look at directly, is that my New Years' resolution is ridiculously under-ambitious.
Anyway, the link is to an archived page, so it takes some effort to find your way to all the text. But if you do, you will be rewarded with such gems as:
More poetically, I would say that we had infected ourselves with a value system of sociopathic perfectionism, intangibilities like "genius", producing a strain of writers block that seems to beg for a new definition, crossing the line into paradox, black hole, catch 22, demonic possession.
...More frighteningly, there seemed to be a large, infinitely resourceful, untouchable portion of our own identities, like a death wish, that would do anything to stop us from acting right now.
...We all like to think that our mental processes are not insanely destructive.
And my personal favorite:
Songwriting is very dangerous for humans.
Monday, February 5th, 2007
Barring the typical housekeeping etc, I mainly geeked out this weekend, and otherwise, rested.
Thursday, February 1st, 2007
Per a hazardous New Year's resolution to record - at minimum - one new musical idea a month, I sat down last night (yes, the last available moment...) and commenced with smashing my head against the wall. This should come as no surprise to a person who acknowledges again and again that he has no idea how to write a song. Forcing such results in two varieties of music: a) arbitrary and unlistenable, b) clichéd beyond salvation. I should know better than to put my already tenuous creative impulse on a timeline, but the probability of my doing nothing at all looms otherwise. So I will continue with this grotesque experiment, and now I owe two "pieces" for February.
My two other New Year's resolutions are thus far met or exceeded: One concerning my physical health, easily quantifiable, and one concerning my finances, quantified in so far as I can second-guess the IRS...
Woke up, genuinely, at 6AM this morning - at least an hour and a half earlier than usual, and decided to begin the first day of the month with a sitting and some guitar. The sitting was effortless, contrary to my expectations after 9 months away from the exercise, but the internal resonance I can usually identify after a few minutes of this was notably absent. You get what you pay for.
Aside: society officially collapses; sense of humor last to go. Hard to read this in its entirety with a straight face. (Whether to lean toward laughing or crying is really your call.) The good news: a full length feature film based on Aqua Teen Hunger Force? That oughta be fun!
Wednesday, January 31st, 2007
Two things I wanted to do last night: to explore a new song idea which has begun ticking around in my head (primarily as a lyrical construct), and to continue experimenting with the electronics and software that will have to work in order for me to complete my new Death Star footcontroller.
Working on the song involved my being in the basement, semi-upright, which was almost out of the question in the wake of the previous evening's stress-induced insomnia. So I wound up in bed trying to address the footcontroller thing sideways: under the covers with a Vaio, a multimeter, a bunch of chips, caps, pots, and wires in my lap, looking like a somewhat more ambitious version of the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons, I imagine. If you have an interest in things exceedingly nerdy, you can read details concerning this effort by clicking here . (I will continue to post on my progress in this fashion until I can snap some pics and get this on the Geek Gear page.)
Making baby steps with the whole custom-built Live
footcontroller effort. Last night I got a potentiometer wired up to the A-PAC,
and saw the x-axis working in Control Panel (that was cool.) The only ??? right
now is that A-PAC is supplied w/ capacitors to match pots up to 100KOhm, whereas
every expression pedal on the planet is 250KOhm. Seems to work anyway, but I'm
not sure how well for how long LOL.
Then, after much gnashing of teeth,
I actually got this potentiometer to talk to the crossfader in Live 6, by
running MIDIYoke and Rejoice. Now, acknowledging that the price was right on
both of these programs (free) I've just gotta say that they (and their docs and
websites) are painfully old school. Lots
of trial and error, reboots, squinting at ca. 1991 UI's... but it did work for a
little while.
Then something went wrong on my laptop and it stopped
responding to the Game Controller altogether. I'm praying I didn't damage the
USB ports in some way. It's not the A-PAC, because it still functions on a
different PC. Maybe MIDIYoke is blocking the I/O or something.
Verdict
for the hardware: this may well do the trick. The only potential downside is
that (because it's actually a game controller chip) the APAC analog axes have "dead-spots" in the center position that might
impact the feel of fades, sweeps, etc. I won't know until I actually get it
underfoot.
Verdict for the software: very generous, but these could
seriously use a facelift. I wish there were something simpler that would do it
all in one .exe and run in the background. I had high hopes for MJoy.exe, but
that POS won't run at all. Looks pretty though. Ho hum.
If you have more of an interest in business relations (eg. how not to conduct them), or in buying an amplifier for that matter, you might want to read this slugfest re: Mojave Amplification. While admittedly none of my damned business, it made me angry and so I've decided to pass the word along. For the nanosecond the target site is likely to persist anyway...
Tuesday, January 30th, 2007
I finally put the decision to bed regarding the February gig. In light of all the variables, I decided to call Ed (who had booked us for the night) and level with him, and to see what the repercussions of canceling would be from his perspective. He was incredibly understanding and supportive, offering to let me play the show solo if I wanted to (at this time I do not), and generally assuring me that I was not burning any bridges either way. Those familiar with the venue would probably not find this surprising, but I can't help but take a cancellation very seriously.
I wrote an e-mail to the band indicating that the gig was off, basically punctuating the process of "letting go" which was already underway. This took a huge weight off my shoulders. So... for the Means (this Means), neither a completion nor a conclusion, but merely a finish. Still, the right decision given the circumstances, I think.
The good news is that I have plenty to keep me busy - a commitment to write one piece of music a month (with an admission that my understanding of the phrase "piece of music" leaves this aim a bit murky), and a number of technical musical equipment geek-type endeavors underway. (They're going to be good, so stay tuned if you dig that sort of thing.)
Monday, January 29th, 2007
"As the first snowflakes fell, I realized all was not well in camp."
Good Lord, what a weekend. It began with more practice on Friday night, and the expectation that we would be rehearsing, perhaps even performing on Sunday night. On Saturday morning I found an e-mail from Tim, which he'd sent days prior, tendering his resignation from the Means. This was a considered, reasonable move on his part, which he executed with exceptional straightforwardness and diplomacy.
So... despite last week's heroism (eg. the guitarist/ singer actually playing guitar and singing), the Means, insofar as the Means can be taken to be three specific guys, has dissolved. (Hence the temporary implosion of this website.) My efforts simply came too late, or, as I told Tim, "I started sprinting after the race was over." All the more tragic that these efforts might have been sufficient, or better than that, had they come sooner. Thirty-eight years old and I'm looking at another failure to launch. Shit.
Tzu had offered to work in this band if the need should arise, and I immediately began teaching her the bass parts. It goes without saying that a synth/sampler can never sound as cool playing bass parts as an actual bass will, but Tzu is a quick study and in many ways absurdly over-qualified for the work. There is hope that where the absence of a bass player should comprimise the sound, creative measures can be taken to compensate and then some. (I'm also aware that the idea of forming a band with one's spouse is the butt of a million standard musician jokes, and that it carries obvious risks, but then there is considerable practical value in rehearsing with a person who is always available and never needs to go home.) However, her position is that the Means should play our upcoming gig, and that Tim, if willing, is the better person for that job.
So I spoke with Tim on Sunday, and I could sense that he was quite settled and comfortable with his decision (which strangely enough, comforted me), but he graciously offered to play the gig if we really wanted/ needed him to do so.
This is where matters become very complicated, if they hadn't already. Every sentence of every conversation with jefe gave me a different impression as to whether he wanted to continue with this work (and occasionally confused me as to whether Tim wanted to continue with this work.) For some reason, he wants to gig this band, but there is no indication that he is satisfied with or committed to the process or the music itself. The confusion I sensed left me confused in turn, and I may as well admit, offended on a number of levels. So here is the delicious irony - the player that quit is the only player not threatening the future of this band.
For now, I'm simply caught between the matter of honoring one's commitments, and the dishonesty inherent in gigging a band that doesn't properly exist. Regarding that first matter of commitment - there are practicalities to go along with the principalities. Namely, I'd rather not burn any bridges at one of New Haven's most accessible venues; neither by way of an untimely cancellation, nor by way of a spiritless performance.
The good news is that I am prepared to play this gig. The question that remains is whether I should. Tick-tock, tick-tock...
On a lighter note, how cool is this?
Friday, January 26th, 2007
Practice, practice. (Careful with that wrist, Eugene.) Then, turn in early to recharge the batteries. All work and no play makes marc write a dull journal. But this is probably for the best.
Thursday, January 25th, 2007
Practice, practice, practice. Living in the basement this week. Tzu has been very patient.
Then to Cafe 9 to check out The Tyler Trudeau Attempt. They're sounding huge these days - with a keyboard player and lots of new guitar timbres. As an added bonus, I arrived to find Al Howard performing with his new band, which I didn't even know existed. Al is one of New Haven's unsung heroes in my opinion.
Wednesday, February 24th, 2007
Practice, practice, practice.
Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007
Practice, practice, practice.
Monday, January 22nd, 2007
Band practice last night was the polar opposite of the week before. (There was a bit of theorizing about beginner's luck and innocence and such in trying to explain the delta, but perhaps more importantly, we were playing different, less familiar material.) Frustration led to some difficult acknowledgements about the band - individually, collectively - and now I am questioning... nearly everything it seems.
There's a strong, unmistakable pull to start looking for the exit, and to mistake this for "freedom". But with a little more consideration, I see that I can't have any real freedom without having all the options legitimately within my reach. In other words, to position myself to move voluntarily, I'm going to have to put some serious work in.
Guitar Craft déjà vu informs here: it is very frightening to consider abandoning a present initiative when the future doesn't appear to hold anything to fill that void. Historically a guy with too many hobbies, I find myself at risk of becoming a guy who doesn't do a whole lot.
Friday, January 19th, 2007
I saw a rerun of an early episode of "Futurama" on TV last night. They were meeting the Professor for the first time, and he was showing everyone around his lab, pointing out various mundane objects: "This is where I keep wires of varying lengths..." Then, in a dismissive, off-hand way: "Over there is my space ship." Finally, regaining his enthusiasm: "Would you like to see my wires of varying length again?"
That's me.
Roland dropped the bomb at NAMM this year, a shiny new guitar thingamabob called the VG-99. I did not see that coming... It's a rather big box for something that covers most-but-not-quite-all of the bases, but damned if I don't want one anyway.
Thursday, January 18th, 2007
Finally getting back to some exercise, riding the bicycle after work.
"Music Time" became Computer Organization Time last night, but in this particular case it was intentional. In fact I'm pretty psyched to be tying up my many, many loose ends. Most will be given one last look/ listen and discarded, but until I've done as much I can feel the deadweight dragging me down.
By 5AM this morning I was wide awake, head racing. I'd listened to a bit of our last rehearsal just before bed, and this was enough to get me obsessing - will this band pull it together, will I ever be able to sing satisfactorily, should I be embarrassed that our room recordings are publicly available on this very site? By 6AM I was up and listening again, then editing out the dead air to make these more accessible. Arguably thankless work, but... while these don't make for great listening, they may prove to be valuable references as we move forward.
Even got in some practicing before work - good old-fashioned morning calisthenics with an acoustic guitar and a metronome. (What could be next, a sitting??) This felt great, but I'm not the sorta guy who fares well on five hours' sleep, so I know I'll pay the price by way of a long afternoon.
Wednesday, January 17th, 2007
A long, busy, productive weekend. A great deal of housekeeping, an uncommonly full social schedule, and some great food.
On Sunday, I helped el jefe paint his newly finished recording studio (in turn he provided some incredible pizza), and on Monday the Means met to rehearse there. I was surprised to find us in such good shape after so long a break (though the room recordings do indicate we have work to do.) I had a ton of fun playing, which is not so much the norm for me as it ought to be.
A couple of "technical advancements" seem to have really paid off - the addition of a control surface and footpedal for Live, and the use of a little practice amp instead of the PA for guitars and synths. The latter having been recommended by everyone, again and again and again, but only now having made it past the guitarist's stubbornness.
Only a moment of discomfort; a grating disconnect between jefe and I resurfaces: an inability to distinguish between my failures as conceptual vs. executive, prompting lengthy, redundant advice. Regrettably, my reflexes on hearing such are never graceful.
Last night, I idled in front of a video game for about 10 minutes before recognizing that I was too tired for even that much, and turned in at about 8PM.
Friday, January 12th, 2007
Got "stuck" on the roof of my parking garage today, and finally noticed the amazing skyline as I was walking toward the stairwell. New Haven is a small but under-rated city; the amazing architecture (mostly owned by Yale University) is just one more thing to love.
This prompted my first-ever attempt to use the camera built into my cellphone. (I don't know why there is a camera in my phone, and not - for instance - a toaster-oven in my television, but this is a different rant for a different day.) What I now I understand is why people have cameras in their phones, but also have cameras. Picture quality is just one small part of the equation. If picture quality is the "tone" of the instrument, then I've completely failed to consider "playabilty". By way of anecdote: I spent 5 minutes staggering around the roof trying to get said skyline into the viewfinder, and simply could not do it. I just avoided getting run down by a de-parker, in fact.
Inset are my finest photographs of the New Haven skyline. I can only hope they aren't somehow prophetic.
Thursday, January 11th, 2007
It suddenly occured to me that if I intend to write for a three-piece outfit consisting of bass, guitar, and drums, I would be well-served by playing more bass, to develop a sense of the possibilities. How can this have taken so long to occur to me? I certainly recognized the value in writing the most recent bass figure for Spilt on the proper instrument, but from there the lesson escaped me. OK then, here we go.
I've finally replaced the Audio page, and updated the Gear page, acknowledging that I put at least as much energy into tinkering with music tech as I put into playing music. Oh, who are we kidding? Far more.
And as an aside, I've also been investing some time into this madness.
p.s. I frequently see one word in print and in the immediate moment mistake it for another. There is a consistency in the flavor of the words that spring to mind that amuses me. Today's mis-read: "WorkLife" translated to "WolfLike".
Wednesday, January 10th, 2007
Quite some time since my last entry here. Partly as expected. Partly exacerbated by illness, and by my associating a journal update with my desire to redesign the entire Means website. I mean, what's the deal with the home page? Is that supposed to be an amp or a TV, or what? It doesn't actually make a lot of sense, nor is it especially functional, which is why more and more content is winding up "outside the box". Like what you're reading now, see?
And what's up with all this "darc" crap? Maybe three people in the world call me that, and none of them are in this band. Besides which, the "character" I've always associated with that name has increasingly given way to a balding computer programmer who makes baby talk to his cats at night. And I'm not even sure that's a bad thing.
Then there is the whole matter of a marginally active band having a website in the first place... but perhaps this is a seasonal thing. Either way, no redesign as yet. It's proved harder than I imagined to rethink the layout in absence of content to complement that layout. Perhaps the cart is in front of the horse yet again.
Anyway, Happy New Year, and God bless us all, everyone.
These weeks have been ostensibly quiet, but interesting for me. There is an over-arching sense of "dissociation" - not in the sense of mental illness, but in the simple sense of feeling detached from much of what seemed inextricably a part of myself just months ago. Some parts of this have come on in sudden, jarring moments. Friendships which have long seemed tenuous now seem as though they are dissolving entirely. My rememberances of my relationships with and within Guitar Craft feel foreign - one night I found myself lying awake, considering elements of this, and sensing something like absurdity in it. All of this warrants further reflection or, perhaps better, observation.
And then (or likely within) there is the Big Kahuna - my sense of myself as a musician, and even of music in itself. Although I have continued to tinker with the toys with which I am surrounded, my understanding of the purpose of music, the meaning of music, or even the existence of Music, has wavered on some fundamental level. For the most part, it is only by memory that I make the decision to maintain some ability as a player. The necessity in writing, performing, recording, or even listening to music often escapes me. As I have, recently, addressed the "how" of music, I've gotten more and more distant from the "why" of music. Funny, if tragic, that "willing" and "able" might be mutually exclusive.
I expect that this will change (in fact, for brief moments it does, even presently) but notably, I haven't any real hope or fear either way. I think it's best to be as honest as possible about this. I have to believe that if I remain willing to let go of processes that don't feel essential, something essential will surface. Maybe the investments I've made in my efforts thus far will lend themselves to this, and maybe not.
I am, however, painfully aware that there is a band waiting for me to get my shit together. And a gig even. Hmm...